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Another blue ceiling, shadow-choked and unfamiliar,
stares back in sympathy - withered paint crackling
with unshed dust and old-man's tales of long ago,
a silent confidante with blown-bulb twilit wisdom -
It's comfort as cold as this half-empty bed.

Cataleptic - a midnight-waker with four hours lost
and the ceiling is shadow-smothered, blue gone grey
like old-man's ashes spread out over this dark grave
of a room - dust unto dust in the throat, and coughing
with all the enthusiasm of russian roulette.

Pull the trigger on the TV remote to no effect -
3am and the damn thing's still dead, the traitor
with screen black like a post-midnight moodswing,
mourning the absence of love, laughter, light-bulbs
and illumination lost to night's darkened thoughts.

No time for sleep, but dreaming away of such escape -
a 5am fugue with pre-dawn gloom glaring intensely.
Black goes to grey and then back to the familiar view
of weeping cracks in the sarcophagus ceiling above -
tortured eyes read their decaying-paint epitaph.

The tombstone bed restrains this living carcass -
even as the chaplain, Dawn, lays the night to sleep.
'There's rest for the wicked, but none for the weary'
reminds the open-window memorial, too bright,
and as comforting as the broken bulb above.

7am sneaks in, apologetic, and another day begins.
©2004-2009 `darkcrescendo
:icondarkcrescendo:

Author's Comments

If this looks familiar, it is because it is the reworked version of 'Sunrise'. It is, essentially, a completely different poem.

The execution of this piece is more true to what sparked the poem initially, before conscious thought-processes got in the way.

My thanks to !inziladun and ~jl.
They know why. (Or should do... :sherlock: )

Feedback on how this poem affects you is, as always, greatly appreciated.

Benedictions!

(Update 24/09/08 - one word changed, but the poem feels far better for it, at long bloody last.)

Comments


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:iconinziladun:
[link]

:devilish:

--
but, mainly, Stay Classy
:iconinziladun:
OMGILUVIT!!!1 +FAV::!!!

--
but, mainly, Stay Classy
:icondarkcrescendo:
OMGKTHXBAI!!!1!! :aww:

You, sir, are a smart-alec - You're lucky you have a pretty avatar :devilish:

Benedictions!

--
There is no escape from metre; there is only mastery.
- T.S. Eliot 'Reflections on Vers Libre' 1917 [link]
:iconthe-artful-dodger:
I especially appreciate the last stanza. The whole poem is utterly powerful, but the last few lines evoke that dead/insomniac feeling very effectively. I'm listening to A Perfect Circle right now, so the words in this relate quite well to the lyrics in my ears. Excellent work, as usual, friend. :hug:

--
"I saw an insect learn to fly... now show me, now show me, now show me how to shine."
:icontransfuse:
Excellent work. I like strong poems that're easy to read. =)

--
Follow Me! :3
:iconrare-jelly-bean:
Very good work Mr. Darkcrescendo, you just keep imrpoving with each poem :), I particularly like two parts of the poem;

*Black goes to grey and then back to the familiar view
of weeping cracks in the sarcophagus ceiling above -
tortured eyes read their decaying-paint epitaph.

*The tombstone bed restrains this living carcass -
even as the chaplain, Dawn, lays the night to sleep.
'There's rest for the wicked, but none for the weary'

This means much to me due to the symbolism implied, I do not know if we share the same point of view so I will try to explain myself as best as possible; It has been said (and I read it much before I had known any of Mr. Gaiman's work) that death and dream are like brothers, the reason for this is that death is like a dream (perhaps due to its ethereal properties), or that each time you dream you die a little bit.
Because I have not been dead I cannot tell you if its true (but as I say, even the man who lacks punctuality never misses his date with death ;) and the explanation I came up for us diying a bit each time we sleep is due to the double life we lead (one in the waking world and one in the oniric real), so we die here a bit here to live a bit there XP
That is why your death related symbols within poem are very meaningful for me.
Well, hope I didnt bore you too much, this poem is a :+fav: ^_^
:iconrither:
To be honest, this poem didn't have "it". I clicked the link and sought the spark in your dancing words, but I found only rocks and twigs from an ancient civilisation. I didn' feel that little extra tingle this time, like I've had in past encounters of your poetry. But even if this is the case, I still see remnants of burned wood in the ruins. Perhaps this poem wasn't meant to have the spark, the tingle, nor "it", but the certain "something". Because I can sense something about this, in all it's dusty coat.

I've read the above through one time, and it might sound harsh, but I am being honest. And I do feel a lingering "something" hiding, embedded in the enchanted words of yours. I shall read this poem again, once I've had some sleep. If I discover the spark anew, I will have you notified. In the mean time, you may continue to command the words to dance evermore, according to your liking.

I will now attend to my dreams, good evening.
Rither.

--
Ever seen a guy empty a 16 round clip, using just his toes?
Dom - Megatokyo
:iconfancydelic:
The whole thing is so rich with expression, very well done. The last line is amazing; makes the poem.
:icondemonhunter-666:
nice .....
turning professional day by day
keep it up

)-((_)z!
:iconlady-maree:
i would like you to write this poem on a piece of paper and send it to me.


i love it...and it shall be put in my collection. *has commanded*


i know..im god...ain't it grand?

Mareed0lL-

p.s no real comment on the poem. Just love it.
it touched me
in a non sexual harrasment way

--
:eager: get ready!

Details

October 22, 2004
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